“I Just Need My Mama!”

“I just need my Mama!” was an oft-heard wail as Susie and I were raising our children. On one particular night, Susie poked me awake (the reality of man’s kid radar is that it just isn’t that sophisticated and gets completely shut off the moment he lays down), anyway, “It’s your turn!” she let me know. Groggily I stumbled to the room where the crying little twit-rat was doing her thing. The moment I poked my head in the door she put me in my place and commanded, “NO, I WANT MAMA!!!” So, I changed to my mama voice, dumb move, it only escalated the situation. Sometimes, you just need your Mama.

Susie was in labor with our first child, it wasn’t going well (I’ll spare you the details). I tell you, she was a real trooper, but the little big guy wouldn’t come out and we were informed that we were looking at an emergency C-section. I thought was doing a splendid job in my supporting role, but when her Mom arrived and stepped into the room, my strong lady just broke down crying. Sometimes you just need your Mama.

After the Lake Don Pedro Baptist Church family called me to be their pastor at the ripe old age of twenty-four, Mabel Tubbs claimed me as her own and became my American Mama. I don’t know how often I sat at her kitchen table while she was fixing us lunch and got a good Mama talking to, or pure encouragement, with a double slice of Mama-love (often in the form of her dream cake). Sometimes even a preacher just needs his Mama.

I don’t know why I was blessed with an exceptionally awesome Mama and multiple other extraordinary women who are like Moms to me, my Dote (aunt and Godmother), Mabel Tubbs, and Beverly (my mother-in-law). What I do know is how they have impacted and blessed my life for the better. These Mamas loved me, prayed for me, helped me, watched out for me, supported me, and were there when I just needed a Mama.

Three of my Mamas have gone to glory. What’s interesting though is that they are still with me, and their presence in my memory, heart, and mind still helps me, still encourages me, still guides me, and still blesses me. Who knows, they probably got together and agreed, “That boy still needs a Mama,” and they’re right.

I am in the Mama praising choir, and I applaud every Mom who is giving it her all, her best, and somehow still has something left over for someone like me.

Her children stand and bless her… “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Proverbs 31:28-29 (NLT2)

            To God be all glory. Happy Mother’s Day, Pastor Hans

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Dad and Mom, Don’t Be Dumb

Dumb. If you could interview my wife, children, brothers, family, friends, co-workers, people who don’t like me, and enemies, you would find out that I have said, done, and spread my fair share of dumb.

Admittedly, dumb can be funny, but most of the time it is just plain dumb, often flat-out dangerous, and dumb always exacts a price. Dumb is dumb because it is dumb, and there is nothing that makes dumb not dumb.

One of the dumbest things I keep hearing from parents is, “Oh, we’re raising our kids with no particular religion, so when they’re old enough they can choose whatever.” That is, although it might sound wise and tolerant, plain dumb. And it is 180 degrees from what God’s word (the Bible) commands and advises us to do:

You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers/mothers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. Exodus 20:3-6 (ESV, italics mine)

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (ESV)

Fathers/mothers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (ESV, italics mine)

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man/woman of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:14-17 (ESV, italics mine).

It’s both dumb and irresponsible to think it is possible to raise kids in a spiritual vacuum, to leave children’s spiritual formation to chance and their own depraved little hearts. We don’t do this with their moral formation (although moral and spiritual formation are eternally linked). A good parent doesn’t tell their son or daughter, “It’s okay, just try out lying for a while and see if you like it or not. If you choose to be a liar later on that’s perfectly fine with me.”

Every child needs to be taught and know that there is only one true, living, Creator God, that s/he is commanded to love and worship Him, that only He can and will forgive their sins through faith in His Son Jesus Christ, that it makes both an eternal and generational difference if you follow His ways and obey His commands, that nothing in life is more important than a right relationship with Him, and that there will be a day of full accounting, of judgment that encompasses our entire life, every thought, word, decision, action, inaction, and failure to honor and glorify God.

Every child needs to know the truth about Jesus Christ, that God the Son came into this world to save them from their sins and the judgment of God, that Jesus offered His perfect, sinless life for them, that He was crucified, buried, and rose again on the third day conquering both sin and death, that only through faith Him and following Him they can escape the judgment of God and hell, and that only through Christ can they be reconciled to God.

Every child needs to know and learn the commands and ways of God as thought in the Scriptures (the Bible), that God’s ways are both blessed and best, that there is no better way to live than walking in Jesus’ footsteps, that even when the cost is high the Jesus way is the right way.

The first responsibility of every parent is to faithfully teach and model a deep abiding, active, godly, and wise faith in God, so, that their child/ren are not ignorant, ill-equipped, or dumb when it comes to what matters most – God.

Have a blessed Father’s Day. To God be all glory, Pastor Hans

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Why I Am a Great Fan of Mothers, Moms, Mamas

I am a great fan of Mothers, Moms, Mamas. I think they are one of God’s best inventions and make the world a better place. The reason I am such a fan are five extraordinary women, Moms, whom God in His wisdom, kindness, and grace placed into my life.

Margarete Frei – that’s my Mama, the awesome lady who brought my four brothers and me into this world and raised us with unconquerable love.

Maria Eitle – My mama’s single sister, my Dote (Godmother), and the Frei boys’ second Mom.

Beverly Mecredy – My terrific Mother-in-law, who has accepted and loved me from day one.

Mabel Tubbs – One of the best things that could have ever happened to this white preacher at age 24 was God blessing me with a black Mom. I never was better protected. You had better not ruffled her feathers when it came to anyone she claimed as her family.

Susie Frei – The amazing and exceptional Mother, Mom, Mama of my/our children, and the love of my life.

I can’t begin to tell how deeply these women have influenced and impacted my life. They do have some things in common. They were/are all spiritual women with a deep abiding faith in Christ, engaged in prayer, reading their Bibles, being part of a church, serving, and blessing people around them. They were/are all strong, intelligent, independent, and thoughtful women. All of them are members of both the hard-working and lifelong learning clubs. And for some reason, they were/are all outstanding cooks.

My relationship with the first four is that of a son. They have dished out serious mothering to me, the whole gamut, from loving me unconditionally to reading me the riot act. However, over the last forty-one years, I have learned and observed more about outstanding and godly mothering from Susie than anyone else. Watching her as a mother has been one of the great and humbling experiences of my life. Without question, our kids, and we as a family, have hit the jackpot when comes to the mother lottery. She’s a walking master’s class on the topic.

I am a continual reader of Proverbs, the greatest and God-given collection of wisdom. I always love coming to the last chapter because it describes a most excellent woman, wife, and mother. The snapshot of the lady in Proverbs 31 drips with character, strength, blessing, and godliness. Everybody around her is better off because of her in their lives. Unapologetically she sets the bar very high. Usually, when I get to the end of verse 31 of Proverbs 31, I Iook up and across the room, and there she is!

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Proverbs 31:28-31 (NLT2)

Have a blessed Mother’s Day. Love you, Pastor Hans

(I understand that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are mixed bags. For children young and grown either or both of these can be a struggle, a deep wound, a dark hole, a day that cannot pass too quickly. For mothers and fathers they can be anything but a day of honor and celebration, but instead be heaps of regrets, stagnant pools of wasted time and opportunity, and a haunting collection of mess-ups.

Please know, I didn’t share the above to hurt you, quite the opposite. For one I simply wanted to give praise to whom praise is due, not to do so is ceding the ground to those who shouldn’t have it – good Moms and Dads deserve a place of honor. For another, I do know from experience that God is not afraid to walk with us into the dark and broken places of our past, of our soul and heart. He never does so without bringing along abundant grace and mercy. He also, despite the failure of some, brings people into our lives who are willing to genuinely care about us and love us. It is never too late to heal or to repent.)

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Roles – A Mother’s Day Reflection

Some are assigned to you, some you get to choose, some you like, some you don’t care for, some are hard, some come easy, some drive you crazy, some are a joy, some are permanent, some are only for a season, and some you have no business holding, for all of them we will be held accountable.

Roles

I am a creation of God, a man, husband, Dad/parent, Opa (Grandfather), brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, in-law, friend, follower of Christ, pastor, boss, employee, neighbor, community member, citizen, … I have been a child, coach, teacher, board member, welfare recipient, patient, student, exchange student, witness, … I have also been called a thing or two, both good and bad, often tied to how I was living out a particular role in the mind of the person doing the assessing.

From the moment we are conceived we have roles assigned by none other than God himself, a person made in God’s image, a child, a son, a daughter, … We have all seen the light of day, taken our first breath, let out our first cry because someone took on their role as a child-bearer, gave us a chance for the first nine months of our lives, went through the gauntlet of pregnancy and childbirth.

“She (Eve, wife of Adam) conceived and gave birth to Cain …” Genesis 4:1. Like many women, Eve was a creation of God, a woman, a wife, and now a mother. Whether chosen or assigned it was up to her what kind of God-created person, woman, wife, and mother she would be. Being a man, I don’t know anything about being a woman, wife, or mother. But being raised by a terrific Mama, being married to the extraordinary Mother of our children, and being blessed by both a daughter and daughter-in-law who are outstanding Moms, I know a lot about what being an excellent Mother looks like. It doesn’t just happen, it takes commitment, presence, sacrifice, selflessness, perseverance, humor, discipline, grit, and an all-in attitude to be an outstanding, terrific, extraordinary Mom.

One of the outstanding examples of embracing and glorifying God in our roles is Joseph of the book of Genesis (chapters 37-50). He chose to be a good son, an upright brother, a trustworthy slave, a model prisoner, a responsible government official, a ruler with integrity, a father seeking blessing for his kids, always seeking to honor God with his life and roles.

This Mother’s Day it might be a wise thing to do a role check. Start with those assigned to you. Next, look at those you chose but are lifelong. Then look at those the ones you chose but are temporary. Don’t forget the ones you should have taken on but refused. Finally, consider those that are not for you to hold, that you have no business playing. Then make the adjustments, make the changes each role requires, followed by a tenacious daily commitment of great Mothers.

To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

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The Parenting Baseline

I got to spend this VBS (Vacation Bible School) week with the 5&6^th grade boys, Ryan, Gavin, Bradley, Adriel, and Jonah my youth helper (Thanks, Jonah). These guys are no longer as cute as the kindergarteners, but then then again neither am I. I do say they are top quality boys with great attitudes, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. All week long we talked about having a solid foundation regarding God, life, and character. They are right at the point of cementing things into their lives by their own choices. But of course, wise parents know that the process of cementing the important stuff into our children’s minds, hearts, habits, … begins much earlier, from the very day they find out that God blessed them with, gifted them with child (Psalm 127:3).

Good parents don’t leave parenting to chance, too much is at stake to do so. In fact, God, who has blessed us with the children in our lives, expects us to be very intentional when it comes to raising our kids. Our children happen to be the most valuable in our lives, and God will hold us accountable as to how we raise them.

Listen to what God long ago told parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, step-parents, guardians, and adults in general about raising up children in both their homes and in their communities, “Hear, O Israel/parents: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 (NIV, italics mine)  

There are some important parenting instructions here and wise parents will follow them:

• “The Lord is …” God is real, He exists. “The Lord is one.” God is singular, there is just one true and living, almighty, Creator, God. Every parent will teach their children about God, even if they are an atheist. But what counts is that we teach our kids the truth of God, and that the one true God is the foundation to everything in this life and for eternity. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” Proverbs 9:10 (NIV).
  
• “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” The most important relationship in life is your relationship with God. Of course, it is tough to encourage your children to have a relationship with God if you don’t have one yourself. But a wise parent knows the power of relationships, how much they influence who we are and who we become. I can guarantee you that the child, teenager, adult, and parent who deeply loves God will live a radically different and better life.

• “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.” God’s commands are for our benefit (Romans 15:4, 1 John 5:3), they help us to know what to do and not to do, they define right and wrong/good and evil, lead us to blessing, and shed light on what pleases God. Good and godly parents show their kids what it looks like to be committed to God’s ways in every area of life.

• “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Repetition is a great instructor, it helps to know and remember stuff and get better at doing things, every athlete, musician, craftsman, and professional knows this. The goal is to engrain the important, the wise, the beneficial things so deeply that they become automatic, the backbone of who we are and what we do.

My prayer is for very parent, grandparent, aunt and uncle, and adult to take Deuteronomy 6:4-7 to heart, to make it their daily starting point and baseline in their parenting and their interactions with children. And in doing so I know God will be pleased and our children will be blessed.

To God be all glory. Love You, Pastor Hans

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Difference Maker Moms – What I do and do not know

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Proverbs 31:28-31 (NLT2)

Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about being a Mother. I have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant, to have a brand-new life kicking around inside of you. I have only witnessed birth, and part of me is very glad to never have gone through that experience. I have never nursed a baby, although a few of our babies tried to find something on my barren chest. I haven’t got a clue when it comes to experiencing the emotions, pressures, struggles, and joys of a Mom.

Here is what I do know: I know the incredible difference my Mama made in my life. I know what it feels like to have an awesome and godly Mom. My Mama’s commitment to my four brothers and me, to our family, was absolute, nothing mattered more to her, and the five of us and my Dad knew it. We were her boys! I remember many times seeing her just watching us with nothing but joy in her eyes. We gave her grief x 5, which had zero effect on the love she had for us. She sacrificed so we would have opportunities she never had. And she prayed, and prayed some more, usually in the bathroom, which also housed the washing machine, we knew better than to interrupt her when she was in there with the door closed.

I wish I knew what my Mama prayed for us, for me. I should’ve asked her when I was older. I do know God heard her, strengthened her, gave her wisdom, helped her to keep going through deep trials and dark valleys. Her prayers didn’t always get immediate answers, but they proved to be effective in the long haul. I believe those prayers are still being answered today, much like Jesus’ prayer in John 17. What a difference my Mama has made in my life, what a life-long blessing she turned out to be.

I lived with my Mama for 17 out of the first 18 years of my life, but I have watched Susie, that super-cute girlfriend of mine, whom I married as soon as she agreed, be the Mother of our four children and a handful of extras, for the past 39 years. After my Mama first met her, a few days before our wedding, she told me, “You found a Good One! Which I prayed that all of you boys would.” So, I have had the privilege to watch this “Good One” being a Mom for over twice as long as my Mama had me. I can tell you this, it is a blessed thing to be with, watch, benefit from, and be blessed by a godly, strong, wise, tenacious, selfless, kind, and brimming with life wife, who is fully committed to her family and loves being Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day. Pastor Hans

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Follow the Science, Acknowledge the truth – And, Don’t Leave Abortion Out

Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death. Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve. Proverbs 24:11-12 (NLT2)

January 22, 1973 the US Supreme Court’s decision in Roe vs. Wade legalized abortion throughout the United States, since then over 61,000,000 pre-born children have lost their lives through abortion. Think about it, that is a staggering, sad, and horrible number. For the first nine months of their lives human beings are the least protected people in the USA, without legal recognition of their personhood, and liable to be subjected to unconscionable and most inhumane treatment.

The newly elected leadership in our country in both the White House and Congress is staunchly pro-abortion throughout all nine months of pregnancy. They are willing to address numerous calls for justice, except justice for the for the children in the womb. These pre-born children are the most unprotected minority in our country, they are subject to greater injustice, violence, peril, and denial of most basic human rights than any other group among us. Their blood does and will continue to cry out.

Throughout this year of COVID we have constantly heard calls for and promises of following the science, the data, to not ignore the plain facts, and we should and shouldn’t. But it is precisely what Roe vs. Wade did, what the stance on Democratic platform’s stance on abortion does, and what the President Biden, Vice President Harris, and the new leadership in Congress supports. The undisputable facts of reproductive science are that human life begins at conception and everything thereafter is simply a stage in the lifespan of a person’s existence. When you and I were just one living cell we were not any less human than we are now, we did not become more of a human being somewhere along the way, certainly not by traversing a few inches through the birth canal.

When it comes to abortion, to what a zygote, a fetus, a pre-born child really is the science, the facts, the truth are just too inconvenient. Denying pre-born children the same human rights as we claim for ourselves does make it easier though to adopt a promiscuous sexual ethic that shirks the responsibility of one of the intended biological consequences of sex, producing children. It does make it easier to get rid of a child when the timing and circumstances aren’t ideal, when the sex of the baby is the not the one desired, when the child has a disability. It is easier to selectively breed, to discard, to deny basic human rights when we dehumanize, when we reduce a human life to mere tissue, to something less than s/he really is. We must be better than that!

What can you and I do?

• Pray for us as a people to be better than this, for legal recognition of full human status from the moment of conception, for the mercy of God.
• Educate yourself a bit.
• Speak out on the truth about when life begins, the rights of the pre-born, about the tragedy and evil of abortion, but do so with humility and respect. Start with the people God has put around you.
• Contact your representatives asking them to legislate pro-life.
• Support a local pro-life crisis pregnancy center.
• Be a pro-life voice and support when God puts someone who is considering an abortion into your life. Encourage her to go to a pro-life crisis pregnancy center to have an ultra-sound, 80% of women considering an abortion who hear their baby’s heartbeat choose life.
• Share the Gospel, introduce people to Jesus, who is 100% pro-life, and who knows how to change hearts and destinies better than anyone.

            To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

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Learning God’s Love – Every Day

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

I have watched my share of “How to …” YouTube videos, many of them were super helpful, saving me time, frustration, and money. Some were ridiculous and worthless, like the guy recommending the using a cutting torch and Sawzall (reciprocating saw) to fix the heater core under the dash, or the fellow who took out the stove in his camper with just a hammer.

Of course, all of us have been learning “How to …” by watching long before YouTube. But simply because we learned something one way does not make it the best way or even a good way. Think about what we have learned about expressing anger, frustration, using words, values, caring for others, kindness, generosity, and love, by observing, watching from our earliest days, and how much good and bad gets passed on and is perpetuated this way.

When it comes to love some of us got to watch outstanding examples of it, others got to view a whole lot of trash, and most of us got a mixed program. Of course, how you and love today is not just determined by what we observed in the past. Some simply perpetuate, some go from good to bad, others go from bad to great, and all of us can learn to be and do better. One thing is for sure, we shoot and publish new videos every day, the question is whether they are helpful or hurtful, high quality or harmful? Is how we love worth emulating, something you want others to perpetuate?

We are born sinners, which, among other things, means we bend the wrong way, especially when it comes to God and love. Selfish love comes natural to us but selfless love we have to learn. Keeping score love we know but forgiving love we have to discover. Using love as a weapon is familiar to us, de-weaponized love we have to choose.

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, the roses, if they have not already wilted, will be in the trash soon, and most of us, although we do not have to, will revert back even if it is not working, not worth perpetuating. Strange and broken creatures we are. It is in this brokenness, this world full of awful love YouTubes, that God in Christ demonstrated a love of a different kind, a love we are wise to receive and learn. This same Jesus is still ready and willing to step into your and my every-day to transform us by his love and teach us to live his love, and that is something worth living, something worth watching, something worth passing on.

To God be all glory. Love you Pastor Hans

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Raising Kids – Follow the Instructions

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Psalm 127:3 (NASB)

Fathers (parents), do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV, parenthesis mine)

No decent parent wants their child/ren to grow up and be a bum or brat, be lazy, dishonest, out of control, ungrateful, disrespectful, irresponsible, rotten, or foolish. Of course, if you leave character building up to chance or to your cute little offspring themselves you will exponentially increase their chances to be some or all of the above.

I had them, this year’s VBS 5-6^th grade boys, set up a tent. They yanked it out of the box, opened the zippered bag and went to work, and like typical males didn’t bother to read the instructions, which, by the way, were sown to the zippered bag so there is no chance of losing them. Finally, one of them, Coty, realized it wasn’t going too well, so he sat down and read the instructions, and together with Swain’s leadership they actually managed to set the thing up. I was proud of them.

Why are we so reluctant to read and follow instructions? And why do babies come without any instructions? And why do those “gifts of God” have such a difficult time following instructions while they’re still in diapers and then only get worse at it?

God knows us all too well, that’s why his instructions to parents are clear: Don’t leave the raising of your kids to chance, to mere crisis management, current cultural trends, or somebody else. Don’t exasperate your kids with being absent, disengaged, inconsistent, and not having a plan. Instead, train and instruct them the way God wants you to train and instruct them. This, of course, requires that we as parents know God ourselves, are familiar with his ways, champion his values, live like he wants us to, love what he loves, and read and practice the manual, the instructions, the Bible.

It is possible to raise very decent kids with great values and leave God out of the picture. But it is impossible to raise godly, God-fearing kids and leave God out of the picture. So, if you are lucky/blessed with having one or more of those gifts from God called children, make sure that above all you raise them with God and his Son Jesus Christ in the center of everything, training them and instructing them in all that is important to God, and be the best example of all of that they will ever see. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10 (NIV)

To God be all glory. Love you, Pastor Hans

P.S. To that end anchor yourself and your family in a local church. I actually know a good one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mother’s Day: What Kind of Son/Daughter Am I?

“A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.”

“The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.” Proverbs 10:1; 23:24-25 (NLT2)

 My Mama was the mother of five boys. She kept telling us that we were exactly what she wanted, what she’d prayed for. I think she meant it, but I wonder how often she thought, “What in the hesch have I gotten myself into?” Her sister, my second Mama/Aunt, stormed out of our house on more than one occasion, yelling, “This house is nothing but an insane asylum!”

I didn’t think about whether I was bringing joy or grief to her back when she was raising us, but I have done so often since I left home. The verdict is clear, I brought her way too much grief. While she made her life about us, I made my life about me, and in doing so I helped turn her hair gray, added to her wrinkles beyond time, caused her to weep and pray, who knows how often.

Mother’s Day, which was an up and coming kind of thing back then, was a cheap way of easing the conscience. Buy something nice, be nice for a day, go back to the same old the next day. Sounds like cheap religion, doesn’t it? And it is. She was gracious though, acting like she really needed more of the same perfume, although she still had three full bottles on her dresser. But there really isn’t any perfume that can cover the stink we cause in someone’s life, is there? And I, we, stunk up her life, caused her grief instead of being big bottles of joy.

Where we stunk, she was fragrant, where I embraced wrong she chose right, where I pursued sin, she practiced godliness, where I was short-sighted she held on to the long-view.  She didn’t go the cheap route but instead gave us what lasts, what you can’t order on Amazon, what will remain fragrant even when I stink it up. So now, today, the memory of my Mama is a joy to me, a still rushing stream of blessing, although she has been gone for thirty years.

I am still the son of Margarete Frei, the woman who gave birth to me, the Mama who raised me, and it still matters whether or not I conduct myself in ways that are wise, that are selfless, that are godly, that bring her joy, that glorify God and Christ.

“Honor your father and mother” Exodus 20:12, not just for a day but with your life. It is what both pleases God and is rewarded by God.

Happy Mother’s Day. Love you, Pastor Hans

 

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